back when i taught english in prague

LIMERICKS @ The Calendonian School, Prague, 2001

Upper-intermediate students: Michail Kourotchine, Tomas Holan, Daniella Slavitsova, Petr Przhetsechtyel, Lenka Geroltova, Zuzana Letakova, Katka Kvasnichkova, Jan Vondrash

It was in New York's Central Park:
A homeless man found body parts.
A steak was so bloody,
And soup was so fatty,
A young woman's name was Bollard.

I decided to visit a school
In order not to be a fool.
Not a piece of cake,
I made a mistake,
And then I fell into a pool.

When once I was walking my dog,
I noticed a bloody hedgehog.
It was much too stinky,
Then it bit my pinky.
I threw him into a deep bog.

While walking to visit fishmonger's,
I saw red because of my anger.
The neighbor's son Lee
Was hitting on me,
So I gave him my middle finger.

I wanted to send it by post
When I saw an old, friendly ghost.
It was just too scary!
I found out it's Mary,
My best friend that I liked the most.

I once went to a broken loo --
There I tried to take off my shoe.
There was a sharp stone,
Which harmed my heel bone.
There stung it just like in the zoo.

I once met a man who was robber --
He did lots of crime at the border.
And when he was caught,
Police more were taught.
They called the man as our sweet flogger.

I need far more fun for my living --
Maybe it will be the rat killing!
When I start to rave,
I'll be in my grave.
Then I can start with my broad smiling.